.loneliness kills. only people who had experienced this understand. the feeling you want to break down any moment to the thought of killing yourself. it is true. i am not kidding. 

wohaaa rasa nak nangis je masa nak benda ni . Ya Allah pleaseee help meeeee pleaseeee risaunya sangat :( 

Book #2

MasyaAllah . I rated 4.9/5 for this book . 0.1 because not everything inshaAllah perfect but it is near to perfection . I encourage all of you to read this book . I didn't even realize that I had finished reading it. toooooo goooood I tell you . 

I am a sappy auntie

I have two nieces and a nephew till this date and there are two more to come inshaAllah.

I cried when I knew Kak Fara is having a baby for the first time

Then I cried again when Along gave birth yesterday.

I am that soft . ahah !

Maybe because I grew up together with my cousins, besides siblings . cousins are the person who know your good and bad, yet still accepting you .

I pray to Allah to give happiness here and hereafter for these beautiful mommies inside and out. The overprotective sisters.

I pray to Allah to ease everything for my cousins and my siblings. so much love for them .

Homesick alert I think. Wait until I post the photo of one big happy family at home.

Done for now, bye.

Book Series #1

I feel like I want to start this book series to keep myself on track for the books I read. No pressure . I want to get my mood on reading the books which are more beneficial than internet hahaha . Yes I love my phone too much and social media 

#1 Start Something That Matters by Blake Mycoskie ( TOMS Shoes) 

Good night ! Assalamualaikum 

Fall 2014

i think writing is very therapeutic besides talking to someone. alhamdulillah for wonderful housemates this semester. it was a good decision to move out from previous house to live with new housemates. they are sporting, easy to make fun of haha, and communicative. wow i just love it alhamdulillah. i feel like home. now i am in my junior year, third year of degree. time flies fast. everyday, new challenges but the class i took this semester are also interesting with interesting lecturers. I took Korean ( ehem, the road to Korea ), Macroeconomics , International Economics, and Geography. International Economics is quite challenging, requires lots of readings. I feel the pressure haha, but I should not take it too seriously. It is just reading. With the technology these days, I rarely read even though my hobby used to be reading a novel. But now, I cant even finish a book within a week. That's so not me. Yeah, I was attached to my phone and with internet. I cant live without internet. Feel like I was left with nothing, overreacting. I really want to take International Economics. I should be brave to take the challenge right? To push myself to work hard. This is the time. I think I still want to rest after two years work really hard in IB. But thats not the point of life. Its have the ups and down. Bismillah to a new journey, new spirit, and new goals. May Allah help me, I know he would. It is just me who always forgot to seek for his help when He is actually always with me all the times.

Wassalam

Life so far

So why do I start to write again ? Maybe because I didn't get enough talking on my thoughts and I have to divert them in writing. I used to write about my daily life, then I stop, I started to write again on inspiring thought. Bohoo, it didn't last long since I was lazy to update. But seeing other people's blog, I think I can just write whether people read my blog or not.

I am enjoying my summer break. I love Malaysia, I love home. I love being accompanied by familiar faces :') I don't know how I am going to deal with myself having to go back to States, but at one point I am excited to start new semester with new goals and mission. Honestly, I was not really enjoying myself in States because I had expectations of US to be the same as Korea and I became so disappointed because both countries are different. Therefore, this time I don't want to have any expectation and be happy with everything I have there :) Less stress and disappointment since I can't control everything.

My goals, I must set this in my mind
- You can't control everything Sarah, you can just control the reactions , but you couldn't control the result
- Always remember Allah is everywhere, He provides you everything, He is the healer, He is the listener, never feel alone like it is the end of the world
- Take care of your imaan, that's it
- Always remember you can always go back to Allah even though you had done a really bad thing, don't blame yourself, don't stress put yourself.
- Just do what you have to do,
- Chill

We are in the last tenth of Ramadhan. Happy struggling in our ibadah, May we will be blessed with Lailatul Qadr ( A night better than a thousand years ). Keep searching for it. My plan is, I want to write all my dua's so that I will not forget about it. The easiest way is to pray but still we find it too heavy for us to do. May Allah give us strength and good health inshaAllah

Istanbul

I've been living in delusional for five months bahahahahahaha. I booked flight ticket to Malaysia with Turkish Airlines, and opt for the longest transit which is 19 hours. The flight supposedly is going to be on May 12th, together with my friends from Penn State. Then I had to change my date since it is conflict with my exam. so I changed my ticket, and thought I am going to transit in Istanbul for 19 hours and make me eligible for free tour ! But... I checked again my itinerary two days ago and realized that *wait gonna cry first*, no this girl not going to sightseeing Istanbul. She just going to transit in Istanbul for seven hours and the arrival in Istanbul is late evening. yeahhhh, for five months I thought I am going to have picture of scenic Istanbul. On the bright side, that means I am gonna arrive Malaysia soon ! For the first time in my life, I am excited for Malaysia :) can't wait to be home, indulge myself with good foooooods, being a bibik in the house, getting prepared for wedding. When guys get marry, they didn't even bother to think about the goodies, so who is gonna do it ? ME. yeah im superlady like that

Friends

Sometimes I could not imagine how someone live without having friends around them. When you are away from your family, friend is the second person who is important. Plus, if you are used to communicate with your family, you really need someone to talk to. In Buffalo, there is a person who can live without being sociable with other people. I had tried, staying in my room looking at the laptop but I end up being crazy haha, not that crazy but I was like 'omg I need someone to talk to'. 

When I was in KMB, I was blessed with friendship. The thing I treasure most is friendship that I gained in KMB. From awesome classmates, to cheerful wingmates, and other random people. I love KMBian because they like to smile. Being me, I was placed alone again in KMB. Alone means my close friend is not with me but Allah blessed me with two of my high school mates whom I barely talk to. Thats why I love going to new place, because from strangers , they are my best friend. Im proud to call them my best friend. They are the person who always listen to my rant like everyday . I would come to their room and talk nonsense haha while they are doing their homework. Ahemmm they are medicine students and I am finance students . 

Monday

usual video call every morning. I just on the video call with my dad and mom

Sarah : so baba do you want to 'sambut' me nanti kat aiport?

Baba : Teksi kan ada ( I know this is going to be the answer ) , kat US boleh jalan sana sini takkan kat Malaysia tak reti dah ...

Sarah : I knew it that's gonna be your answer ! 

Baba : When is the time of arrival ?

Sarah : 5pm Monday. I know there is no one gonna be there since everyone is workinggg . But please don't make me drive on my own from KLIA to rumah. ( it is possible...) , you know I am not getting used to drive right hand side *berlagak mode*

Conclusion : It is possible I would have to find my way home on my own *wail.....* haha. Because KLIA-Desa Baginda is like going to the kedai runcit nearby. Am not kidding.